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Helping the Bullied Child Tim Keeter Grace Community Church, Huntsville, AL Definitions (from www.stopbullying.gov) Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The following three characteristics are typically concurrent:

1. An act or acts of an aggressive nature; 2. The presence of an imbalance of power (such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity); and 3. Repetition. Introduction 1.What to Do First 2.A God-Honoring Response to Bullying 3.The Heart of Your Bullied Child 4.He and Help for Your Bullied Child Conclusion Personal Application Projects

Where Can I Get More Help? I. What to Do First Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Co 10:31 I. What to Do First A. Discern the urgency of the situation I. What to Do First A. Discern the urgency of the situation

B. Reserve judgment and trust God He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him. Pr 18:13 I. What to Do First A. Discern the urgency of the situation B. Reserve judgment and trust God (Pr 18:13) C. Pray for and seek wisdom But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Jas 1:5 I. What to Do First A. B. C. D. Discern the urgency of the situation Reserve judgment and trust God (Pr 18:13) Pray for and seek wisdom (Jas 1:5) Gather information, while being gracious and humble (Pr 18:15,17;

Jas 1:19-20) Cyberbullying: ASAP: Print/photograph any online material Report to school authorities Report to the social media/gaming platforms being used Criminal activity: Gather evidence and report to police I. What to Do First A. B.

C. D. Discern the urgency of the situation Reserve judgment and trust God (Pr 18:13) Pray for and seek wisdom (Jas 1:5) Gather information, while being gracious and humble (Pr 18:15,17; Jas 1:19-20) E. Be angry, but do not sin (Eph 4:26-27; Ro 12:18) I. What to Do First A.

B. C. D. Discern the urgency of the situation Reserve judgment and trust God (Pr 18:13) Pray for and seek wisdom (Jas 1:5) Gather information, while being gracious and humble (Pr 18:15,17; Jas 1:19-20) E. Be angry, but do not sin (Eph 4:26-27; Ro 12:18) F. Expect only good from God (Ro 8:28-32)

II. Honor God by How You Respond to Bullying A. Rest on Gods character We do not know the extent, the duration, or the frequency of the painful, adverse circumstances in which we must frequently trust God. We are always coping with the unknown. Yet it is just as important to trust God as it is to obey Him. Jerry Bridges, Trusting God Even When Life Hurts, 17-18 II. Honor God by How You Respond to Bullying B. Disciple your child

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. Dt 6:6-7 II. Honor God by How You Respond to Bullying C. Endure what is common to mankind No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so

that you will be able to endure it. 1 Co 10:13 II. Honor God by How You Respond to Bullying D. Overcome evil with good Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Ro 12:21 III. Address the Heart of the Bullied

Child 1. Understand the sinful treasures residing in your childs heart that are generating sinful responses 2. Show your child the way of repentance 3. Teach your child about the good treasures that should replace the sinful ones 4. Help your child pray for and cultivate good treasures that will bring forth God-honoring obedience III. Address the Heart of the Bullied Child

A. Move from escaping unwanted emotions toward patient hope in God Potential signs: I dont want to talk about it because it makes me feel awful! Controls or suppresses feelings in unbiblical ways. Hopelessness I would be truly happy if I could avoid . For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.

1 Pe 2:21-23 III. Address the Heart of the Bullied Child B. Move from negative self-perception toward an accurate view of self Perception Category Inaccurate Accurate but

not Sinful Accurate but Sinful Response Change in Perception Change in Values

Repentance Im not good at sports I have a bad temper I always mess everything up Im skinnier and smaller than all the

other boys III. Address the Heart of the Bullied Child C. Move from a bitter spirit toward compassionate kindness Potential signs: Bitterness or anger toward the bully, those who joined in, teachers, etc. Replaying the event(s) over and over in his or her mind Fantasies about revenge Imagining bad things happening to the bully I wish I could get back! Why does everyone think Im stupid? Im smarter than those idiots!

III. Address the Heart of the Bullied Child C. Move from a bitter spirit toward compassionate kindness Replace hurtful thoughts with thoughts that are: a) Right: thinking from Gods point of view b) Admirable: reflecting on the good in the other person as opposed to fault-finding c) Lovely: considering how you can serve or build up others (incl. the bully) Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on

these things. Phil 4:8 III. Address the Heart of the Bullied Child D. Move from fear of man toward fear of God The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted. Pr 29:25 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I

would not be a bond-servant of Christ. Ga 1:10 Helping the Bullied Child Tim Keeter Grace Community Church, Huntsville, AL

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